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Adoption Update.

March 5, 2010

As stated in my last post, our adoption is going and at this point, I am happy to say it is going well.  At the time I blogged, I was a bit frustrated with a few things, which have since passed and worked themselves out.  It is hard to stay patient in this crazy process, but am slowing working through my impatience issues–if that can be done when  you are adopting.  I am sure that many of you can assume that our situation has become a bit more complicated by moving and becoming parents.  Much to our surprise, the moving part has been the issue…not having Ainsley.  So get settled into a comfy chair…because this is a long story….

Part I-CIS

CIS.  The bane of my existence.  Need I say more.  I have never in my life, felt so helpless with one agency….but I at least know I am not alone.   I understand that there are processes that have to be followed and this is the system, but for the love of all that is necessary in an adoption…..ARE YOU KIDDING ME.   We will start with the fingerprints.  Our fingerprints expired in November…and they still are expired.  I sent the necessary paperwork in to request a renewal with a letter stating that our address had changed.  This is AFTER I called the “helpless” line to see what I needed to do….and what do you know…they were no help at all.  They told me to call this other number, which told me they only handle immigration cases and pretty much good luck with that.  Um, thanks.  A few days later I get a return CIS letter telling me that they can not give us a fingerprint appointment unless we have an updated HS and guess what…you have one month to do that.  Um, double thanks.  Insert complication here….at the time ALL OF THE STAFF AT OUR HS AGENCY HAD BEEN LET GO.  I happen to catch the director on his way out who agreed just to issue an addendum stating that we have moved…updated HS to follow.  We all frantically rushed around getting the document back to CIS (in time mind you, before the expiration of the letter and the fingerprints) and we get ZERO reply.  Nothing.  Not even birds chirping.  So we are waiting to see how this issue will play out.   We have currently sent it our updated HS to renew our I600A.  We are still waiting for the response.  I am optimistic that everything will work out.

Part II- The Home Study

As mentioned above there had been some turn over at our HS agency, which by the way is very reputable.  The good news is that the turnover is for the better, the bad news–it was just HORRIBLE timing.  I very much liked the previous director, but our first SW, she was a piece of work.  I don’t know if I mentioned it, but when I got the final draft of our HS the first time, it has someone elses financials in it.  WITH THEIR NAMES.  Not ours.  That is just the tip of the iceburg.  Did I mention it took her months to do anything?  So I am truly happy she is gone.  Our new SW is wonderful.  I really, really like her.  She is very timely, does what she says she is going to do on time and delivers great work.  Our updated HS looked great and am very happy to have her.  She visited our new house, talked about parenting children of different cultures, is very supportive, and very engaged in the process.  She is a much needed change and for that I am thankful.

Part III-Our Approval

We sent originally sent our dossier to the ICBF in May 2009…I think.  I can’t really recall.  They then requested more information in regards to our psych report, home study, and application on the day Ainsley was born, 8.4.2010.  I did take me a bit to gather the documents as we had just had a child and were moving all at the same time.  It was complete chaos!  I did get everything taken care of, we resubmitted the end of October. Approximately three weeks ago, they requested further clarification in regards to a statement in our psych report.  We have since fixed that issue and will be resubmitting our clarifications next week.  Our agency tells us it will be at least another 2 months before we hear anything.  Which will hopefully give us the approval we need to start our 4 year wait….two years into the process.   I am placing bets that we hear about our status the beginning of June since all of our dates seem to coincidently coincide and that is when we officially signed the contract with our agency.   In essence, I am bracing myself that our adoption could take 6 years to complete.  The two we will be in, then the additional wait of 4.  Sigh…

So now you know why I haven’t updated anything on the adoption front.  It has been quite messy and challenging at times, and I didn’t really want to talk about it.  I just needed to keep walking the line one foot at a time.  I know everything happens for a reason.  So whatever the reason may be, it will happen in the right time.  It is just driving me crazy.  I am a person that tends to need resolution which is not a great personality trait to have in the adoption process.  But I will make it through and it will all happen someday, I just need to keep positive and moving forward.  Even if I have the need to lash out at CIS.  I will wrap it up by thanking all my family and friends–AP’s & non AP’s.  Without your support and encouragement I don’t know where I would be…and for that I am thankful.  Someday we will bring our child home.  I may be like 80 and having to turn up my hearing aid to yell at the CIS employees and use my cane to beat the window during my Info Pass appointment, but we will bring our child home.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. March 5, 2010 2:30 pm

    I *so* feel your pain. Sometimes it feels like you’re just running on a treadmill in adoption. It’s soooo frustrating. But thank goodness for blogs and the internet so that we can commiserate with each other! I hope you guys get some breaks already!

  2. Kelly permalink
    March 5, 2010 2:57 pm

    Wow, that’s a lot of paperwork drama! I so hope things settle down for you and you get to “start” that wait soon. What a long, complicated process this all is…

  3. Melissa permalink
    March 6, 2010 8:07 am

    I’m so glad you are keeping the faith and moving forward, despite all these roadblocks. It will all be worth it in the end.

  4. March 8, 2010 8:49 am

    Sorry you are having such a tough time. It seems like all adoptions have issues its just a matter of which ones. I am a firm believer that these things happen for a reason and that the timing all works out in the end. You will end up with the child you were meant to have. In the meantime you have that sweet little girl who will be a wonderful big sister one of these days!

  5. March 8, 2010 5:53 pm

    Oh, boy, can I ever relate to your CIS angst right now. That agency is a thorn in my side too!!! I’m sorry things have been so difficult for you recently on your adoption journey. Nothing is simple, is it?

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